I have been somewhat forced by this separation to step outside my box and meet new people and have new experiences. The last two nights I have hung out with a couple and their friends that my husband said I wouldn’t like and would probably judge. This is the example he came up with when he said I was such a judgemental person. Now I have sort of immersed myself in things that go beyond the realm of my past experiences. I don’t really drink, only one or two socially, and I don’t smoke or do drugs…as these are choices I make for me I don’t really care if others indulge. So it has been interesting these last two nights when I have made good friends with people my husband thought I couldn’t hang out with.

What is really funny or rather sad is the fact that my husband has completely stopped contact with all his “friends” and his blogging. He isn’t even as motivated to do the one thing that is his passion. It is like he just gave up on his life as it was and has started over. Unfortunately it sounds like he has chosen to lead a superficial life that people have commented negatively on.

Now in turn I have started blogging and contacting his/our friends. More often than not though these friends are contacting me:) I have also sort of taken on some of his passions with a crazy fun fervor…

It is interesting to see where life chooses to take you. This weekend my husband and I have been married for 20 months, I’ve had a contact high, and been cuddled by another man…

All of these things have been uncomfortable to me but I got through it and each experience has shaped the view of my new world.

As I continue to reflect on all of these things I still hold on to the fact that I love my husband with everything that I am. I know this was the one chance to get it right, almost perfect…we are meant to be together. This doesn’t mean/guarantee that we will be together it is just what I have known and confirmed as I step back and look at my/our life. We may never be together again but I know the happiness/love/strength that we had will never be found with another person. I know that I can meet someone new, have kids, feel loved the way I deserve to, and be happy it will just be different. My husband on the other hand my believe that he has found what he is looking for but he will run from love again…and he will continue this pattern for the rest of his life. I was the one person who cared for/loved him unconditionally and this is a very rare thing to find–no one will be as accepting of him as I was. I saw him for the person he was and more, never anything less.

So here is to further discoveries and life experiences! Oh and the one month 30th birthday countdown!!!