Oh gosh…

Two more days until I find out what the Husband wants…why does he all of a sudden want to go to counseling? I asked this of many different friends and family and they were split 50/50. Some said that this was a good thing. Others said, “I’m sorry.” What does all this mean?

I asked my counselor what I should do if Husband asks for a divorce. He replied you give it to him…WHAT? Well, what he explained was that he can do what he wants he doesn’t need my permission. Very true, he can go file for a divorce anytime he wants. I wouldn’t be able to stop him…

However, the counselor also suggested that I resign my position as my husband’s conscience and stop keeping him accountable. I guess I didn’t realize that is what I was doing. I just wanted to ask why…at this point it wouldn’t matter. So Doc said to tell Husband that I resign and would like the remaining six months to do so. And if Husband asks for a divorce?! “Okay, if that’s what YOU want.” But then I am not to do anything…he needs to file, hire lawyers, get his shit…all of it. I am not to do anything. This should take long enough…considering he has hardly ever done anything on his own without reminders from others…

In order to stay calm and in control I am going to be taking a valium to get me through the meeting. Do you think I could drink this down with a whole bottle of whatever…and do this all while driving to the meeting?! hhhmmmm, probably not.

I’m preparing for the worst but hoping for the best.